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A DAY THAT MADE HISTORY

Posted on: Wednesday


I had been looking forward to Mother's Day this year for many weeks.  It was to be my very first Mother's Day.  And while yes, this was the first time that I was able to partake in the party and be celebrated as a mother (I was about 10 months pregnant with Biet last year- just missed it by a hair!), it was also the first time in remembrance that I genuinely celebrated the day at all.  So, you see, this was to be my very first Mother's Day ever.

I had just turned four when my own Mother, the dark-haired beauty with loving eyes who I know mostly through photographs and stories, succumbed to cancer.  I imagine that we celebrated Mother's Day with gusto in my first four years of life.  Two artist parents with three wild girls- I like to think that we cooked up some glorious songs and cards and cakes for our Mother.  But, truth be told, I really cannot remember.  I was just so small.

Over the years my sisters and I would sometimes go through the motions on Mother's Day with a foster parent or an aunt, but it never felt right.  Eventually the day became, for me, so meaningless and empty that I wouldn't even notice its passing.  It was a day that simply did not apply to me.  I knew that the day celebrated something immensely sacred and beautiful, but I never felt it.  I couldn't even imagine feeling it.   The concept of Motherhood was so very foreign, having never had a place in my life.

And then my daughter changed everything. And she gave me, this past Sunday, an immaculate gift.  The moment I opened my eyes at 5:30 in the morning to my baby girl's wail, I felt it.  I suddenly knew what the day was about.  My husband brought me ice cream for breakfast and a new bottle of my favorite perfume, and I began to understand what we were celebrating.  Instead of passing on a quiet sad note, the day brought light and love and gratitude.  We dressed up and went out for bagels, did a spot of shopping in the city, walked all over the West Village, had sushi, and sat at sunset in the park eating pastries.  It was pure joy, but the truth of the matter is that it wouldn't have really mattered what we had done.

To be with my family, to understand the magnitude of my role, to spread love onto my child and those dear to me, to understand how sacred this all is- that is what this day is about. This day that Biet gave to me when she was born.

Thank you Biet. Thank you for making me a Mother.










18 COMMENTS:

  1. sounds like you had a beautiful mother's day. this was very sweet to read. thanks for sharing!

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  2. Wow, You totally changed my perspective. I have 2 children (3yrs & 5mo) and was a little saddened by the lack of specialness from my husband. But really I am blessed with 2 little souls whom love me dearly. Thank you for sharing!

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    1. Thank you for reading! Each little babe is such a blessing, isn't it? Motherhood is worthy of a celebration every day in my opinion.

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  3. Gosh, Belle. I just want to give you so many hugs right now. Craig lost his father and it's something he carries with him every single day. When Gus was born it was like he got a little piece of that relationship back. These babies don't make the hurt go away but they certainly help fill up the holes in our souls. I'm so happy that your mother's day was so wonderful. You really deserve it!

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    1. Thank you so much Julie and sorry to hear about Craig's father, but I completely understand. Those are the perfect words to describe it: its like getting a little piece of that lost relationship back. I feel this way every day with Biet.

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  4. oh my, what a beautiful post! thank you so much for sharing. happy mother's day (everyday) to you!

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  5. ...for got to ask, do you mind sharing your favorite perfume?...

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    1. Sure! Its Stella McCartney. She sources organic roses for the fragrance and manufacturers it completely vegan. I loved the perfume before I knew any of that but now I love it even more.

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  6. you guys are dolls. each of you.

    happy mother's day to you.

    xoxoxoxo

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    1. Happy Mother's Day to you too!

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  7. how sweet and beautifully written. :)

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  8. I too, lost my mom when I was younger. Mothers day has always been a source of pain. Until this year and it was beautiful, my sister was here and she said the same thing. Thank goodness for these little people that seem to mend the hurt and bring a much needed perspective change. Oh yes, and those noble men that hold us when we ugly cry about missing our mommas, right?

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    1. right! I am so grateful for this little bird of mine, and for the man who stands by my side. This day will forever be changed for me now.

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  9. Where on earth is that purse from?!

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    1. $15 vintage find from one of my favorite thrift stores in the East Village. I've had it for YEARS and I love it so!

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