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HER DRAMATIC LAST DAYS AS AN ONLY CHILD

Posted on: Sunday






Don't let that cute face fool you.

I am not sure what has happened to my toddler.  One day, she's a rambunctious nearly-21-month-old, and the next, a blubbering baby again.  A few days ago, Biet decided to boycott all solid food, all naps, bedtimes, and routine in general.  She began waking up every couple of hours all through the night.  She completely stopped telling me "poo!" when she wanted to sit on her potty (and since we have come so far, so effortlessly, this one is throwing me for a loop).  She decided that bottles of goat milk and almond milk are all that she will consume, and flat out throws a temper tantrum when I try to give her any real food.  And she wants to nurse about 15 hours a day.  I am exhausted.

I've heard of children regressing in behavior once a new sibling comes along, but before they arrive? Could it be?? Gaby is convinced that she senses change afoot and somehow knows that a new baby is on his way to kick her out of her throne (he tells me this every day with more and more excitement in his voice, saying "Maybe she's acting like this because he is coming today!" He cannot wait).  I have a feeling that her yet-to-emerge canine teeth may have something to do with it.  Regardless, I am beginning to feel the tiniest bit of anxiety about having two.

Just as we were settling into peaceful routine in anticipation of this baby boy, and just as I was really beginning to feel empowered at the notion of attending to children, Biet's complete reversal to babyhood has me questioning myself and doubting my capabilities.  How much sleep deprivation will I be able to handle?  How in the world am I supposed to change two diapers at once, in the middle of the night?  Is tandem nursing going to be absolutely insane? (and how exactly will that work out in public? On the subway? In a restaurant?).  Will we be driven completely insane?

Of course, I know that we'll figure out how to be a family of four in due time, and that I'll figure out how to live with the challenges of being a mother of two closely-spaced babes one day at a time.  I know that after this birth, all of the love and beauty in our family will be magnified beyond what we could have ever imagined.  I know this in my heart, and I keep repeating it to myself.

I just hope that this darling little girl of mine eases up with her stubbornness and lets me help ease her back into some sort of eating and sleeping routine, because we are all too tired to keep up with this madness.  And I hope that I can somehow make her understand that she will always be my baby girl, no matter how many others may come after her.

*My yellow neck cowl was made by the lovely Hannah*

35 COMMENTS:

  1. With my little girl I realised she breastfed continuously when she was sick or growing or something upset her. Your body is getting ready for childbirth maybe things are very different and she can sense that or your milk is different? Good luck with birthing your new little baby and enjoy this precious time. I am sure it will be work with 2 under two but so worth it.

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    1. You may be right! I'm sure my milk has changed in preparation for a newborn, and maybe it reminds her of her early baby days :) Thank you for the well wishes!

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  2. You poor thing! Biet and baby boy will be the exact same distance apart as Iris and Edi. We are three months in now. You can do it! It's not been without some strange changes and challenges, but even despite that, it feels like Edi has been here all along. Hang in there mama!

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    1. Thank you Sarah! I often hop over to your blog for a little preview of what's to come, and it always makes me look forward to it. xx

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  3. Oh, those challenges. When my eldest was 18 months his sister was born, and it threw me off balance completely. But be assured, you will find a way in this and you'll love it along the way. Just don't expect too much of yourself. Give it time to settle, to get used to everything, to grow into this. Just focus on you, your family, your babes. Nothing else is important. Nothing else is more wonderful.

    Big hugs for you.

    Oh and by the way, my eldest stopped drinking my milk just a couple of days before the birth of his baby sister. He said it changed. It was harder to get it out. And it tasted different. So maybe that has something to do with it?

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    1. I keep hearing this about milk! My midwife says your body starts to produce colostrum again, and some babies really like it and start nursing like crazy, and some babies don't. Thank you for your advice!

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  4. I have no advice for you at all as I only have one 10 month old and was thinking I would use your experiences as a guide! I do know with Teddy that change plus teething plus not sleeping because of both (if you are tired she is too probably, even if she is the cause) he regresses and this means non-stop nursing and night waking.

    You can do this! Good luck & much love xox

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    1. Thank you Audrey! You're right that if I am tired, she probably is too. I never thought of that!

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  5. I love the yellow neck cowl. It looks so bright and happy next to the greyish city. I have no advice on the two babies, but your post is making me want to stick with just one. Am sure it will all settle down as the days go on. Good luck :)

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    1. Haha. I hope I don't turn anyone off babies with my posts! I know it will get easier and all will settle into place. I just hope it will happen sooner than later!

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  6. You'll be fine! But you know this already, ha. Best to you and your family.

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  7. I'm not expecting but, my daughter is going through the exact same thing! I feel like the terrible 2's are coming early : /

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  8. I just found out I am expecting my second and they will be 22 months apart. I am FREAKING out in the best possible way. We live in a one bedroom apartment! In San Francisco! Baby #1 just started sleeping through the night!

    I have no idea how we will do it but I have no doubt we will figure it out. At least, that's what I keep reminding myself when the anxiety starts creeping in. No matter what the age difference, it's always hard adding in a new member to the family. Sending love and positive vibes to you from the West Coast. :)

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    1. Thank you Amber and CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
      You know as well as I that they don't need much space for the first few years. I've seen families of four make it work in one bedrooms- that's just ctiy life! You can do it. xx

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  9. My two youngest were 13 months apart. It was...interesting, but doable. They are now 15 & 16 & it is still interesting lol. The main thing is not to over think it. There is no "right" way to raise children, they are individuals with individual needs-- you'll find your rhythm!

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    1. Wow 13 months! I also believe in respecting each child as an individual with individual needs. It's so good to read your comment!

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  10. My daughter is a month older than Biet and she is already showing signs of getting her 2 yr molars so it is possible that Biet is just having some teething pain. Homeopathic teething tabs help mine a lot.

    I would imagine your milk is tasting different these days with the change of hormones that is probably going on. But don't doubt yourself, I have confidence you will be a great mom to both your children through this whole transition. Plus I'm due with my second in June so I'm really hoping to learn some things from you. :) Good Luck and Blessings!

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    1. I would love to hear more about how the homeopathic medicine is working for you. I dread the two year molars! Congratulations on number two and thank you for these kind words!

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  11. I reached a breaking point recently with Drake - as he was waking me up every two hours still to nurse. I kept telling myself it would get better, to hang in there, but one day I just couldn't take it anymore. I was so tired and so mentally spent. I wrote a post, begging for help/advice and the next night Drake slept for three chunks of three to four hours. I swear he sensed what I had put out there in the universe.
    My point is, maybe it's about to get better. :)
    Either way, I know you can do it. Your family is going to find a beautiful groove - all four of you.

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    1. Thank you Emily- it's so good to read your words! We WILL get into a beautiful groove, you're right!

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  12. Honest diapers have the best price I could get for size 3 diapers. Even though it is slightly costlier than some, it saved me on the taxes. I considered cruizers too, but opted for the dry diapers. I don't particularly see the difference between the two.

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