When you are pregnant with your second child, you hear story upon story of the sleep deprivation, the messes, the exhaustion, and the massive amount of work that you're in for. You hear "Oh you'll certainly have your hands full!" from many a friend and stranger. You hear about the inherent rivalry, the undying love, and the intimate friendship that is bound develop between them; about the matriarchal presence that will surely envelop you.
Once in awhile you hear, from women who've walked in these shoes before you, about how quickly and intensely you'll love the second one (since you've already learned how to love from the first). This strikes you as interesting, and somewhat unfathomable. And then it happens. Your newborn arrives and from that very first breath you are overpowered with devotion. You sweep him into your arms and before a thought can even form in your mind you are smitten.
And then something else happens, something that nobody tells you about. Your firstborn climbs onto the bed and you throw your arm around her waist and pull her close to you. And suddenly your love for her explodes. Into a million pieces it bursts, then magnifies, then consumes your heart again, a million times stronger than before. And then it continues to grow.
The days and weeks float by and you find yourself falling more and more in love with your firstborn. Perhaps its that the presence of a brand new baby makes you realize what an amazing person you're first baby has become. Perhaps its because opening your heart to another child has forced it to expand in all areas. Perhaps its simply because exponential love is the core purpose of motherhood.
For whatever reason, your love for her deepens to beyond the point you knew possible. You're more proud of her than ever before. You miss her when she's not around. You throw her up in the air and catch her when you come home. You love that kid like nobody's business. And you find yourself awestruck at least once a day, saying with a full heart that's bound to grow fuller, "my goodness. this girl."