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WHAT NOBODY TELLS YOU

Posted on: Tuesday

When you are pregnant with your second child, you hear story upon story of the sleep deprivation, the messes, the exhaustion, and the massive amount of work that you're in for.  You hear "Oh you'll certainly have your hands full!" from many a friend and stranger.  You hear about the inherent rivalry, the undying love, and the intimate friendship that is bound develop between them; about the matriarchal presence that will surely envelop you.  

Once in awhile you hear, from women who've walked in these shoes before you, about how quickly and intensely you'll love the second one (since you've already learned how to love from the first).  This strikes you as interesting, and somewhat unfathomable. And then it happens.  Your newborn arrives and from that very first breath you are overpowered with devotion.  You sweep him into your arms and before a thought can even form in your mind you are smitten.   

And then something else happens, something that nobody tells you about.  Your firstborn climbs onto the bed and you throw your arm around her waist and pull her close to you.  And suddenly your love for her explodes.  Into a million pieces it bursts, then magnifies, then consumes your heart again, a million times stronger than before. And then it continues to grow. 

The days and weeks float by and you find yourself falling more and more in love with your firstborn.  Perhaps its that the presence of a brand new baby makes you realize what an amazing person you're first baby has become.  Perhaps its because opening your heart to another child has forced it to expand in all areas.  Perhaps its simply because exponential love is the core purpose of motherhood. 

For whatever reason, your love for her deepens to beyond the point you knew possible.  You're more proud of her than ever before.  You miss her when she's not around.  You throw her up in the air and catch her when you come home.  You love that kid like nobody's business.  And you find yourself awestruck at least once a day, saying with a full heart that's bound to grow fuller, "my goodness. this girl."

15 COMMENTS:

  1. This was lovely. Thank you for sharing.

    -Lindsey

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  2. Anonymous5:21:00 AM

    Amazing post...gave me chills...love your blog, keep on!

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  3. Anonymous7:26:00 AM

    Gorgeous - can you tell us if you are back at work yet and if so how you manage to juggle it all!! I am a mum of 1 back at work 6 weeks into motherhood! Was wondering how other mother's cope with this...

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  4. I didn't know other moms felt they learned how to love from their first child. I completely felt that.. especially with him being in the hospital so long, it took us a while to create a bond, although I loved him from the start. But with the second one I already knew I adored him from the moment he was born. I love how children broaden your heart. :)

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  5. this is one of my favorite posts of yours. i am expecting in october and we have a little lady who is about to turn two. i love that you have had this experience while welcoming another little one to your family. it gives me hope and strength. thank you so much for sharing.

    xx, amanda

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  6. Beautifully said! I'm a new reader who just gave birth to my first (little boy) two months ago...the love is overwhelmingly delicious.

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  7. this post brought tears to my eyes. very beautiful

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  8. Almost four years into life after my second was born, I now fully and truly understand and own the word: Blessed. Very much for reasons such as the ones you write about here. Gorgeous post!

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  9. You are a fantastic writer. I just found your blog and I'm hooked! newest follower here.

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  10. I love the two photos! You can't half tell they are brother and sister can you?!

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  11. This is such a beautiful post. I have twins and so I don't know what it feels like to bring another child into the family while already having children at home. I know that I love both my girls equally and my love for them grows each and every day.

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  12. oh what a lovely post. I hope to experience this myself with a second one day :) x

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  13. I couldn't agree more. My love for my first born is stronger than ever and the birth of his baby sister definitely intensified and magnified this love. Thank you for putting words to what so many of us feel, but can't find the words to say.

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